You may think I am a Scrooge for saying this, but I don’t care for the hustle and bustle of Christmas. It feels so contrived, so commercial. Watching people frantically scurrying about, buying people gifts - partly out of obligation, partly because they are trying to desperately feel the Spirit of Christmas– it all makes me nervous (nervous for them). I can feel their stress and their anxiety under their self-inflicted time crunch. People spend way too much money, for what? Do they think buying a gift brings joy to the receiver, or is it because buying a gift brings joy to them? I imagine a lot of these people are thinking, “Now…what in the world am I going to buy for Betty?” I think that if you don’t know what Betty likes you shouldn’t be buying a gift for Betty. I’ve never been one to understand this tradition. This may sound like a contradiction, but, I am now going to tell you how I became a great gift giver:
It happened in the month of December of my 6th grade year. We lived in Durango, Colorado, and it was a cold and snowy afternoon. I was riding home from school in our Ford Bronco with my step-mom, Donna. She pulled into a lumber yard and told me she needed to see if they had a long, slender box she could have. I waited in the car as she set out to find this odd-shaped box. She returned a few minutes later with the box in hand, and I could sense her excitement! I could see a twinkle in her eye and a bounce in her step, not knowing exactly why. On the ride home she told me she bought my Dad a new shotgun as a Christmas gift, and that this box would help her disguise it and wrap it beautifully. I felt so special knowing the surprise she had planned, and I immediately joined in her excitement and held onto it for three long weeks until Christmas day.
Fast forward to Christmas morning, the moment my Dad was opening the long, slender box. As he started to unwrap his gift, Donna and I looked at each other and smiled, our eyes big with anticipation…we could hardly contain ourselves. I was so excited to see my Dad’s joy I couldn’t stand it! As he was opening the box and clearly struggling to get the shotgun out he said, “Deanna, come on over here and give me a hand!” I instantly jumped to my feet, shouting uncontrollably, “I know what it is, I know what it is!” I grabbed the bottom of the box and pulled with all my might. And that’s when it happened…I got the surprise of my life…a life changing experience no doubt. Inside the box was not a shotgun for my Dad, but a new pair of Rosignal snow skis for me!!!!
The skis were unbelievable, and such a wonderful present, but that gift was not what stayed with me all these years. At that moment I realized how much planning and time and energy and thought and research and love and money my Dad and Donna put into this gift. All for me! I felt so loved…but on the flipside, I got to experience the gift of giving through Donna’s eyes. I saw how truly excited she got to find the right box. I saw the look in her eyes as she talked about the shotgun, I saw her wrapping the box with love and generosity and sweet anticipation of bringing me joy. She taught me the true meaning of “It’s better to give than to receive”. She also taught me how to truly give a gift to someone using all of your senses and all of your heart and soul.
Since then, my Christmas lasts 12 months a year. I don’t hustle and bustle during the holidays wondering what to buy for Great Aunt Margaret. I do, however, plan and think and put all my love and energy into the people I put on my Christmas list. Also, throughout the year, if I happened to stumble upon something in my daily travels that I know my sister Gina would just love, I buy it and send it to her. This spontaneous gift giving is done because I am feeling love and gratitude and joy for that person, not because I feel obligated to buy a gift. It makes me feel super great and generous and it sure makes the person receiving my little goodie extra special to be getting a gift “just because”. That kind of gift giving feels genuine to me. I kind of liken it to getting flowers for no special occasion instead of on Valentine’s Day…it just seems more thoughtful and special instead of contrived and commercial. So…you may call me a Scrooge, but I am really just a great gift giver!
